'I went to brush something off my cheek and realized it was the floor'

I heard that and thought it was funny.  I really don't drink like that anymore and haven't for ages. There was a time that could have been true for me.  'Dude, where's my car' is also something that can describe my [anti]glory days.

I realized late in life that my mom was a party animal! Oh, she would drop tidbits here and there but I never really put it together.  She'd leave these little bits of information without fanfare or detail.  There was a Japanese card game, we had a deck of those little colorful cardboard cards. She said she would play this game as a gambling and drinking game after work with her friends. I wish I would have learned to play that game or even to remember the name.  I have many regrets like that. Mom was wonderful and she knew so much but I didn't tap into that, I didn't take advantage of that, I didn't make her feel special enough to be interested in those things. I regret it, i'm crying now.

it was all taken for granted,,,

I can't believe it's been over 3 years and I'm still not over it. I tried to organize my craft room. The first box I looked into was a box of patterns. The patterns were a history of fashion. Mom sewed like a tailor. I remember she'd take me to the store and let me pick ANY pattern I wanted then we looked around and she let me pick ANY material I wanted.  A few days later, there was my beautiful dress (or pants or jacket or shirt or blouse or even swimsuit!!!!!). She was the best. I wish we would have thought to take pictures of all her wonderful creations but we didn't. that was in another age. there was no 'instant' anything back then.

i find that since having the cell phone and texting, my typing/spelling has become 'modernized'. you will probably notice in my posts that capitalization isn't always there, proper spelling isn't always there. it's just a sign of these times.

I haven't even come across the box of old pictures yet. I can imagine that will be a heart wrenching day. omg, just thinking about is making me try to cry! stop!

So, in high school, i can remember all the sewing she did. my whole wardrobe; come to think of it, my whole wardrobe through school was her! I was very well dressed. she even made jackets & capes for me! capes were in. i had one with fur trim! it was awesome. mom was awesome.

so, this box had patterns for little girls, little boys, women, and men in the 50's. she was a sewing machine! sometimes she made matching outfits for us all. we were the coolest because of her! She made purses too!

mom could knit and crochet and embroider like a champ! we have so many blankets from her. she made shawls for me, she made sweaters, she made little crafty type stuff for gifting and decoration. when did she find the time? she was a hummingbird of a mom!

I can remember she would read the newspaper EVERY DAY sitting on the floor in the morning when she woke up. She learned english that way.  the dishes were always done. the yard was always nice. the clothes were always clean and pressed. the floors were clean. everything was done all the time. dinner on the table about 5pm every day. lunches made to take to school. she was perfect and i never acknowledged that to her. kids just don't know how amazing it is. we just take it for granted. i'm crying again.

birthdays deathdays

Masako Roden. Chula Vista, CA. Born: Jan 23, 1929. Deceased: Jun 10, 2011 · 

Vernon L. Roden. Chula Vista, CA. Born: Jul 4, 1930. Deceased: Oct 11, 1999.

I miss them so much.